While caring for my daughter during her first two years I felt totally alone and cut off from society. It was the most difficult moment I have ever experienced in my life.
I was already quite lonely before my daughter was born. I was living in a small rural village in the far north of Sweden where I had no friends and the cold dark winter season was exhausting. To make matters worse, COVID kicked off when my daughter was six months old. All events were canceled and peopled shuttered themselves away more than they already were.
I would joke with my partner (although not really joking) and say I felt like I was in the movie Groundhog Day.
I was with my daughter day in and day out at home, practically 24/7. I did go out daily for a walk and occasionally went to the nearest city for grocery shopping, but otherwise I was usually home. I feel fortunate that I was able to spend so much time with my daughter, but at the same time I am a human being, and human beings need breaks.
I found a big break with travel-oriented Youtube channels that took me out of my mundane life for a moment and let me see the world.
I particularly liked a Youtube channel called “The Positano Diaries“. In this channel a British woman named Nicki gave me a view into her life in beautiful Positano, Italy.
I was able to meet her husband Carlo, her daughter Sky and her dog Holly. She showed me the gorgeous ocean views from her home and her daily tasks of tending to her garden and making homemade Italian-style meals. She also whisked me around the Amalfi coast on her moped and took me on hikes in the distant mountains. All with soothing music and stunning drone footage of the coast.
Watching her videos was so helpful for me with getting through the repetitive days I was going through while caring for my daughter. It was such a relief to feel like I was traveling and meeting people while watching her channel. Not to mention I loved seeing into Italian traditions, food and holiday celebrations.
I highly recommend mothers, especially ones in similar lonely situations as me, to find a “get-away” Youtube channel where they can relax and see the world. What is particularly appealing about Youtube channels is not simply seeing new sights, but also feeling connected with the host, as though you are a part of their family.
Caring for a baby can be particularly challenging when life feels like it has come to a halt. Thankfully there are ways to still feel connected to the world.
Lauren Ell was born and raised in Southern California. She was raised in what she calls a “secular” Christian household. She has been living in Sweden since 2016 with her Swedish partner, and gave birth to her first child in 2019.